Forgive me for this jumbled mess. Just trying to get some thoughts out, even if they aren't so clear....
As you all know by now, Adam Goldstein aka DJ AM was found dead in his NYC apartment yesterday. A whirlwind of rumors surrounds his untimely death. All the news stations are reporting drugs seem to be the main cause, but other people who were close to him are saying it was some sort of accident. Whatever the cause may be, all we know is the DJ's DJ has passed away.
I never met him. I never got to see him play live, which right now is really hard on me. I wish I would have taken a night off from my own DJ'ing gigs to go see him when was in town. But I suppose, like him, I was doing what I love to do. However, even though I didn't know him on a personal level, I like many others, felt an extremely close connection to him.
In this world we live in with 24/7 news, Twitter, Myspace, Blackberries, and everything else, we have the opportunity to stay connected to the world outside our own at all times. I always looked forward to reading one of Adam's tweets, or checking out his newest Youtube video or hearing one of his live sets posted on someone's blog. I lived to see and hear my favorite DJ do things I could only imagine being able to do in front of crowds I could only imagine to be playing for.
As a DJ, many of us spend many nights playing for half empty rooms playing for crowds who will never know how hard we dig for music to try and make them happy. Most of us have 1000's of songs on our hard drives and in our CD books that we never get to play because we're either too afraid of being hated on or we're just sure the crowd won't get it.
Adam was one of those few DJ's who wasn't afraid to play every last song in his collection, and he did it so well it didn't matter if he was playing the newest top 40 hit or some obscure rock song nobody has ever heard. If he was feeling it, odds are the crowd was feeling it too. Few DJ's have the confidence, the skills, and the control over crowds the way he did. And that's not just because he was the famous DJ AM.
From all accounts, he was the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and never let his fame get to him. He was one of us. He was a lover of music. He was a lover of life. He was a survivor. He was the champion of a whole culture, but he was still a normal person.
We'll never know what went through his head after last September. I can only begin to imagine what kind of toll an event like that can take on your life. I read his tweets and posts about how scared he was to fly after the crash, but he still did it for all of YOU! He wasn't going to let himself live in fear. He wanted to get out there and play to all the people who adored him and live his life to the fullest. And he did it.
Adam, you were an inspiration not just to me, but to everyone who has a dream to do what they love. All I've wanted to be since I was young was a DJ, and you were my #1 motivator. A regular guy who reached for the stars, and touched them. Now, I hope you touch the heavens, and make the angels dance. Rest in peace, my man.
ADAM MICHAEL GOLDSTEIN 1973-FOREVER
